After the break out of World War III in the car on Friday, I think it’s important to talk about another life lesson. You aren’t always going to agree with everyone. It is fantastic that all opinions aren’t the same in this beautiful world. Because of differences, there will be times when you disagree or fight (and I don’t mean physically), particularly with the ones closest to your heart. That can be your sister, your parent, your best friend, your spouse. But even when you’re in the heat of battle (I use that term loosely and hope they are few), it is important to fight fair. The goal is resolve the conflict, not win.
Be honest about your concerns and your feelings. Listen to the other person’s concerns and feelings…really listen. Don’t be defensive and mentally preparing your rebuttal while the other person is talking. Listen. Stay on the topic and don’t bring up an issue that’s three months old. Resolve the problem, so it’s not a lingering sore and something that is revisited again and again. Maintain your integrity. Be prepared to offer an olive branch and say I’m sorry. Admit when you’ve made a mistake. Be humble when you’re right.
Girlies, when you’re arguing with a loved-one, you still hold her/his heart in your hands. You know the weak spots. You know the sensitivities. You know where to send the real zingers. But DON’T! Words can hurt. Once they are said, you can’t take them back. It’s like trying to jam the toothpaste back in the tube. It won’t work. The other person will always remember the mean thing you said. Do you want to be declared the winner knowing that you really hurt your sister, your friend, your spouse with your words? No you don’t. That’s not love and you care about this person. Remember, no matter how big or small the disagreement, the goal is to find a solution and continue in a loving, respectful and fulfilling relationship.