I Have a Secret

I have a secret.  It’s one that I’m afraid to bring into the light.  Why am I scared?  I know why.   It’s because I’m afraid I’ll fail.  I don’t like to fail.  If I bring my secret into the light, I’m afraid I’ll be accountable.  I’m afraid, because I’m conflicted between what I want to do and what I know I should do.

This secret is something on my life list to 47, so it’s not really a secret but… I am content to ignore #38 on my list.  I really do want to ignore #38 and yet when I made my life list to 47, I committed to honestly trying to complete each item on my list.  Whether I was successful or not is irrelevant.  Sometimes life doesn’t come together and it might not be possible to complete all 47 things successfully.  For example, take #14 – Go to the Rose Bowl if Purdue or Michigan is in.  If Purdue or Michigan don’t win the Big 10 championship in football next year, then I’m we’re not going to the Rose Bowl.  I won’t check #14 off the list.  But #38 is within my power.  I have to give it a good try.  That’s the deal.  That’s the commitment I made to myself and to you when I posted my life list to 47.

So what is #38?  It’s lose 10 pounds.  Simple, right?  Not really for me.  I know what goes into losing weight.  It’s what I eat and how much I exercise.  That’s it.  Simple.  Not really for me though.  I think I do eat healthy foods.  I think I’m better with the girls than I am with myself.  I buy organic.  I push fruits and veggies.  We eat fish or vegetarian at least once a week.  I buy beef, chicken, pork that doesn’t have hormones or antibiotics or any of that other junk in it.  We eat whole grains.  I try to limit processed foods.  I don’t drink alcohol (unless we go out to dinner).  I don’t drink soda.  I don’t really crave potato chips or pretzels or that kind of salty stuff unless Mr. Rosey comes home at 10:00pm and starts munching on a bag of chips in front of me (which has only happened once).  When it comes to food, I do have an Achilles heel.

I do crave sugar and chocolate.  A day doesn’t go by without my eating something sweet.  I will say that I can and do eat one piece of chocolate at a time and I am satisfied.  I don’t binge on sweets.  I don’t have to eat five cookies or a whole tub of ice cream to be happy.  One cookie, one scoop is enough for me.  Could I cut all sugar and chocolate out of my life though in an effort to lose weight?  Nope.  I don’t want to.  I think I would be an unhappy Mrs. Rosey if I did that.

So what’s the solution for me to lose 10 pounds?  I think I eat well…well enough anyway.  The answer for me is exercise.  That yucky eight letter word.  EXERCISE.  I need to move my tooshie, my caboose, my tuckus and exercise.  The problem for me is that I don’t like to exercise.  I’m not a sedentary person.  I’m moving all day long making beds, cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, driving the girls from here to there, grocery shopping and the list goes on.  Plain old exercise is not on the to do list and it needs to be.  I need to exercise for me.  I need to exercise so my body and mind are healthy and I can be the best person, wife and mommy.

So there it is.  It’s in the light now.  I need to exercise and make it part of my daily life.  I can’t take it back.  I can’t ignore #38 any more.  I need support.  I need encouragement.  I need positive reinforcement.  I need to take little baby steps like Sissy says.  I need to not worry about the 1000 crumbs on the counter and go exercise instead.  I need to be intentional like I said here.

Am I alone in this struggle?  Do you exercise?  What works for you?  Let’s do this thing together and support each other.  Please leave me a comment and tell me your exercise goals.  Why do you exercise and what motivates you?  Thanks for listening.  I appreciate it.